Image

Image. We are a society so focused on our image. Yes social media has exacerbated our focus, but it all existed way before social media. How many of us have heard, “We keep the family secrets. We don’t go airing our dirty laundry” or something similar? While I am in no way trying to say that we go share every detail of every argument with the world, or blame mom and dad for our every struggle, what I am saying is that it’s important to be real. Promoting an image of, “everything is perfect here sorry about your luck” helps no one, including the promoter. 

Shame is prolific and grows like a vine intertwining itself around every aspect of our lives in an environment of secrecy and inauthenticity. It slowly wraps itself around our hearts and chokes out any belief that we are enough. I think it’s true that we all resort to some roller coaster/cycle  of  comparing, competing, striving for perfection, and hiding all as a result of shame. 

Unfortunately religion is an arena where this type of behavior occurs. It has been a factor in my struggle. I think religion can feel very safe. Religion that offers a nice, neat, tidy list of rules, do’s and dont’s, and a checklist is concrete. And it is sterile. And it is empty. The end result is an attitude of criticism and judgement towards anyone who is different than you because it threatens your status quo. Just take a look at the Pharisees in the Bible.

“Matthew 7:1 warns us, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.””

It is way too easy to be critical and judgemental. It takes time, energy, and effort to listen, support, and help because that requires compassion and empathy. Jesus, the only One justified in judgement instructs us in Romans 12 to weep with those who weep. What is your reaction to a mom who gives up custody of her children? Disgust and judgement? In all honesty I feel some of that. However if we take the time to listen to her story and how she got to this place it could change everything. Have you experienced sexual abuse continually over the formative years of your childhood? Have you never met your father? Have you lived in four or five different foster homes? Have you ever felt this alone, unworthy of love, abandoned? Does it justify destructive behavior? No but it sure does lend understanding to her predicament, and it offers an education on how to help rather than pass judgement and keep walking.

“Dear children, let us stop saying we love each other let us really show it by our actions. It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord even if our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.”  ~1 John 3:18-20

What a gracious God. He KNOWS our hearts. Our pain doesn’t justify our sin and destructive choices, but we can rest assured that our God sees our hearts and how the sins of others set us on a path of destruction. It is his desire to reveal his love and understanding in a way that draws and invites until we know him enough to open up and allow him to tend to our wounds. He is patient and doesn’t push us faster than we are able to handle. He is not bound by time and He is so so good and so so gracious. We are called to be His hands and feet, to weep with those who weep and to rejoice with those rejoice. Next time you’re tempted to pass judgement consider that you have no idea what the person has been through. Offer the same standard to him as you hold for yourself. Do you desire grace and forgiveness when you mess up? Offer him the same.

Relationship with Jesus is much messier than religion about him. But man is it amazing! HE is amazing beyond words.

“Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT