Gratitude

Through years of research, studies, and collecting stories about joy and gratitude, Brene Brown found that these three powerful patterns emerged. She says:

• Without exception, every person I interviewed who described living a joyful life or who described themselves as joyful, actively practiced gratitude and attributed their joyfulness to their gratitude practice.
• Both joy and gratitude were described as spiritual practices that were bound to a belief in human interconnectedness and a power greater than us.
• People were quick to point out the differences between happiness and joy as the difference between a human emotion that’s connected to circumstances and a spiritual way of engaging with the world that’s connected to practicing gratitude.

We’ve all probably heard the statement an “attitude of gratitude” right? But how do we have a lasting attitude of gratitude? I’ve set a goal to be more grateful many times but it hasn’t been a goal I’ve been able to keep long term. Like everything else in order to get better at something we must practice. If we have the desire to learn to play the piano practice is necessary. You may gain knowledge, and learn to read musical notes, however that does no good in actually making music. If you want to put the knowledge to practice you must put your fingers on the keyboard. If you want to run a marathon you must take that first step in training for it, if you want to learn another language it’s necessary to speak it as you learn and keep practicing. An attitude is a way of thinking but that thinking doesn’t always translate into behavior.

We often think of happiness as a prerequisite to gratitude. The problem with that thought process is that happiness isn’t consistent. Happiness is based on circumstances and life circumstances are not always easy. John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Because life has challenges we need each other. We need to know that we aren’t all alone in this journey of life. When celebratory things occur I want to share that with others. If I have an opportunity to go on an amazing vacation and experience fun and beauty I want to share it. It isn’t nearly as fun alone as with someone I love. When my daughter got married I wanted to share that with my friends and family, when my granddaughters were born I wanted to show everyone their pictures. And on the flip side when the hard things happen I want to be there for those who are hurting just as I need them to be there for me. During years of infertility and loss I needed people to be with me through it, to give me encouragement and hope. When a friend is battling cancer I want to be there for her, when our community loses four young men way too soon, we need each other. Without the knowledge and experience that we are connected to one another and that God is with us and for us, I’m not sure life is all that happy or joyful.

With this sense of awareness that we all have beauty and pain in life, we must know where and to whom to run. Happiness is great when it’s present, but joy comes from knowing that even when it’s not present we aren’t alone. We have a God who is constantly fighting for us (Isaiah 49:25), who never gives up on us (Isaiah 41:10, Deuteronomy 31:8), who brings good from all situations (Romans 8:28), who longs to comfort us in grief (Matthew 5:4, Psalm 147:3), carry us when we have no strength (Isaiah 40:11), and also to celebrate, live, laugh, and be with us.

Grief is often a part of getting to gratitude. I had dreams of 3 or 4 children and a white picket fence. I wanted to be the Kool aid mom and I had my own idea of what that looked like. When we experienced infertility after our first child I had a choice to make. I could either wallow in what may never be and the injustice of it demanding an answer from God, or I could focus on the beautiful daughter he blessed us with and be grateful for the gift and life she was and is. It took me awhile I can’t lie, and it took a lot of grieving, but I eventually got to the place where I was willing to let go of my dream, embrace gratitude and receive whatever God’s idea was for my family. (Which by the way included the birth of our son Nico in 1998!)

Two years ago God reconnected my cousin Dawn and I. We grew up together but each left our hometown after high school. We hadn’t seen each other for about 25 plus years when the Army moved her and her husband Mark to our area. We have had a great time with them and have caught up on life and shared good conversations and fun. They are now heading to Hawaii for three years. (I know poor things!) Anyway my tendency has been to focus on the loss and be sad. I am however now practicing gratitude. When I feel sad I turn it around and focus on being grateful that we had the chance to reconnect and make great memories. We are committed to keeping in touch and hey, I have a free place to stay in Hawaii! Mark and Dawn have added to my life not subtracted from it by leaving. I am celebrating the time we had here and the ongoing relationship even if it is from a distance.

Here is what I am incredibly grateful for. I am grateful for the faithful husband God chose for me who has modeled true love by keeping his commitment to our vows in the good and bad times. I am grateful for the beautiful daughter who is brilliant, loyal, strong, and loves fiercely. I am grateful for the long awaited son who has a special God imprint on who he is, my son in law who is strong and resilient and loves all of his girls so well, my precious granddaughters and the more to come, the genuine friendships who have and always will be there for me, for the comfort and peace of home, and most of all for relationship with Jesus who is beyond words.

When the world seems crazy and chaotic I am grateful that there is a good God who is in control. Isaiah 40:12-14, 25-31 puts it all in perspective:

12 Who else has held the oceans in his hand?
Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?
Who else knows the weight of the earth
or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?

13 Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord?[c]
Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him?

14 Has the Lord ever needed anyone’s advice?
Does he need instruction about what is good?
Did someone teach him what is right
or show him the path of justice

25 “To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.

26 Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.

27 O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?

28 Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

29 He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.

30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.

31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

I invite you to join me in making gratitude a practice in our lives.